White Horse Yoga

Bon Voyage

25 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Evey: So, Carrma, I’m going to be away for a few days–

Carrma: Uh-huh. Bye, human.

Evey: But, um, won’t you miss me?

Carrma: I’ll miss my second breakfast. And my walkies. But Yoga Human and I will be busy plotting.

Evey: Plotting what?

Carrma: That’s for us to know and everybody else to maybe find out later.

Evey: Well, fine. Whatever floats your boat.

Carrma: -stares- Human, I live in the desert. Why ever would I need a boat?

Evey: During monsoon season? It gets pretty muddy around here.

Carrma: You’re weird, human.

Ephiny: And so there I was during White Horse Yoga with my adoring fan club all around me…

Ephiny: Such cute little humans. Someday I want a one of my very own.

Carrma: Humans are a nice thing to have around.

Evey: Ohhhh, so you ARE going to miss me?

Carrma: Maybe. Bring me back a present.

Evey: I’ll think about it.

Ephiny: Bring me back a human. Like this one.

Evey: I’ll try, dear. Are you sure you won’t miss me Carrma?

Carrma: Well. Maybe a little. Now take me for a walk. I want to eat some bushes.

Evey: You’re not supposed to eat all those bushes.

Carrma: That’s why I only do it when you’re not looking.

Outtakes

17 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Breakfast:

Gabriella: Oooh! Treat, please! -crooks leg-

Evey: Here you go, dear.

Carrma: -stares- Where’s mine?

Evey: Just a minute. I’ll get there.

Gabriella: Me me me!

Evey: You already got some. Here, Carrma! Quick!

Carrma: -snatch and grab- Nom nom.

(Later)

Gabriella: Ah, human. I see you are passing by with the pitchfork in your cart. You may use it to scratch me. -poses-

Evey: At your service, your highness. -scritch scritch scritch-

(Later)

Carrma: And here I am taking my human for a walk. Ooh, that bush looks good.

Evey: No, dear, please don’t eat that bush.

Carrma: You’re no fun. Hmm. I want to go down this street.

Evey: Really? We haven’t gone this far before.

Carrma: I feel like being Adventure Pony today.

Evey: Then off we go.

Lunchtime:

Herd: Mine! Mine! Mine!

Evey: Hey, now. One at a time. Tia, stop chasing your mother. I’d rather not get run over.

Tia: -mumble mumble- MY HAY. MINE!

Gabriella: Eeek! -runs-

Carrma: -stares-

Evey: Yes, dear, what can I do for you?

Carrma: -stares- Everyone else has big piles of hay and they left me with scraps.

Evey: Here’s a little more, then.

Carrma: Ha ha ha. I’ve got my human trained to read my mind.

Snacktime:

Tia: If I put my head in the tub when the human walks by, hay will magically appear.

Evey: -tosses hay-

Tia: Yep, there it is. Nom nom.

Happy 25th, Carrma!

03 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Carrma: Huuuuuman, it’s my birthday. You should buy me one of these compression suits.

Evey: -gapes-

Carrma: I’m partial to the red. Black would be too hot here in the desert.

Evey: Tell you what. Get me a big book contract and I’ll get you one. Right now it’s out of the budget.

Carrma: Hmmm. Carrots are in your budget, aren’t they? Where are my carrots?

Evey: Gee, I dunno. You didn’t get me carrots for my birthday.

Carrma: -stares-

Evey: Fair is fair, you know.

Carrma: Huuuuuman, you can’t fool me. There is something behind your back.

Evey: Nah, it’s just a plastic bag.

Carrma: A plastic bag with carrots. -lickchewlickchew-

Evey:  What do you say?

Carrma: -stares- -paws ground-

Evey: Fine. Here you go.

Carrma: Nom nom nom. More please?

Evey: Well, okay. It’s your birthday, after all.

Carrma: -nom nom nom- I should get one for each of my 25 years. And then some more.

Evey: Ummmmmm…..

Camilla: -bangs hoof on fence- Me too, me too!

Tia & Ephiny: And us! 

Capria: Out of the way. Move it. Me first. -crooks leg-

Evey: Ummmmmm….

Herd: WE WANT CARROTS! GIVE US CARROTS!

Evey: -hands out carrots-

Gabriella, hovering at rear: Don’t forget me, please.

Evey: Of course not. Meet you on the far side.

Gabriella: Nom nom. Thank you.

Carrma: You forgot me. Where are my carrots?

Evey: Here you go–hey wait!

Carrma: Heh. Human is so gullible.

How now, brown horse…

29 Mar 2012 1 Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Carrma: Um, human, that is a brown horse. What is a brown horse doing on the white horse blog?

Evey: This is Gary. He’s Yoga Human’s horse. And it’s one of the few pictures I’m actually in. So there.

Capria: That’s all well and good, but he’s brown. 

Evey: Hey. If it weren’t for a few brown horses, yoga human wouldn’t be coming over here once a month, and I know how much you like having her visit. 

Capria: Yes, but, but–  

Evey: What? You think brown horses can’t do as much as white ones? Check this out:

 Capria: So he can kick. So what?

 Evey: He also knows to ask for his halter when he wants to work, just like you guys. 

Ephiny: -nibble nibble- I do that. Play with me, human. 

Evey: Sorry dear, not now. 

Ephiny: Can I have a cookie?Evey: No, sweetheart, not right now. If I give you one, EVERYBODY wants one. 

Ephiny: Phooey. You’re no fun. I’m going to look for some hay. 

Evey: And here’s another brown horse. This is Ichobod talking to Yoga Human. He’s Massage Human’s horse. He’s taught Massage Human a lot of stuff which she uses to help you guys. So PLAY NICE. 

Pooka: Yeah. Don’t mess with Massage Human. I LUUUUUV Massage Human!

Capria: -grumble- Okay, fine, I suppose brown horses might have their uses. 

Evey: Aren’t most of you brown when you’re born?

Capria: Yeah, but that’s just a phase we grow out of. 

Evey: -sigh- 

Carrma: I like them, human. They teach you good stuff. 

Evey: I think so too. 

Horse Cookies

17 Mar 2012 1 Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Carrma: I like going for a walk. My human always gives me a treat at the end. -nom nom-

Khepera: -bangs hoof on fence- Where’s mine?

Evey: Sorry, dude. You don’t get one.

Khepera: I’m sure you must have an extra cookie for me.

Evey: No, really, I don’t. -holds out empty palms-

Khepera: -licks palms- Theytastelike cookies. You must have one somewhere. In that pocket, perhaps?

Evey: Nope.

Khepera: But there is somethingin that pocket. It must be a cookie.

Evey: That’s my phone. Now go away!

Camilla: Mom got a cookie. I want one. You must have one.

Evey: -sigh- No, really, no cookies. See?

Camilla: -licks Evey’s hands- Hmm. Not there. In your pocket, maybe?

Evey: No, not in my pocket. Not anywhere. Leave me alone!

Khepera: Hmm. Camilla was licking your hands. You must have given her a cookie. I want one too. -lick lick lick-

Evey: EWWW. I’ve been slimed. No, I didn’t have a cookie and I still don’t have one now!

Khepera: Is it in this pocket? Or this pocket? Or in your shirt pocket?

Evey: No, no, and no!

Capria: Khepera was licking your hand. You must have a cookie. -crooks leg-

Evey: No! No cookies! Everyone stop asking!

Herd: WE WANT COOKIES! GIVE US COOKIES! -stares with baleful eyes-

Evey: -sticks fingers in ears- La la la, I’m not listening, I’m going home now…

Coyote!

22 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Evey: So, Carrma, ready for your walk?

Carrma: Nope. I’d rather finish my second breakfast.

Evey: Please?

Carrma: Well, if you insist. Just one last mouthful. Ah. Okay. Off we go!

Evey: Nice day, isn’t it? Sunny. A bit of a breeze. Watch that cactus, there.

Carrma, head up, ears pointed: Human. COYOTE! Right there on the road!

Evey: Oooh, neat. Hi coyote!

Coyote, looking at Carrma and Evey: Oh hai. Just passing through. Don’t mind me. -trots off-

Neighborhood dogs: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!

Carrma: EEEEK. We’re going home RIGHT NOW.

Evey: But he’s gone–

Carrma: RIGHT NOW, human. -hauls Evey back toward arena-

Evey: Don’t you want to finish your walk?

Carrma: Not when there are dangerous critters about. We go home NOW!

Evey: Okay, okay.

Carrma, near gate: I still get a treat, right?

Evey: Well, I suppose so.

Carrma: Nom nom nom.

Tia, at gate: Me too! Me too!

Evey: Sorry, dear. Not today.

Tia: Pooh. -wanders off-

Carrma: Ahh. Safe at home. Oh look, pieces of hay. And more hay. Ooh, look…

Evey: Bye, dear.

Help feed the ponies!

14 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Khepera: That hay pile is getting low.

Carrma: That’s why the human is having a sale.

Khepera: What’s a sale?

Carrma: Human sez: 

The Feed the Fat White Ponies sale continues–now through Monday the 20th. Here’s the deal:

Writing mentoring, editing, and general word-related services are on sale. 5 hours for $180. For that you get whatever you need. Some of the things I can do for you and your project or ms.:

Read and comment on your submission package for agent or publisher (cover letter, synopsis, opening chapters). Usually this includes a go at the revision of the package, as well.

Help you develop a submission package from your ms. This can range from a master class in writing the synopsis to an in-depth edit of your opening chapters.

Five hours of chapter edits, from line edits to overall plot and structure. This usually covers about 20,000 words of text, depending on how detailed the edits turn out to be.

But that’s not all I can do. I can help you with your idea from the bottom on up, help you develop a plot and setting. Or I can help you with worldbuilding and research. Help you develop characters. Give you a short, individualized, customized course in plot, setting, characterization, dialogue.

Development of projects is one of my most favorite things to do. I love doing it, and I love seeing the results. If you’re stuck, if you’re not sure how to pull it together, if you’ve got a plot but the whole idea of the synopsis is presenting a big brick wall–that’s one of the things I really enjoy doing. Almost as much as the ponies enjoy eating. ;>

Camp Lipizzan is also on sale. A long weekend (or several weekdays) on a horse farm in southern Arizona, with hot and cold running Lipizzans. Horse Camp for Writers is one way we play it–a writing retreat in the desert with Fat White Ponies, with or without workshopping. We also do Camp Among the Lipizzans for non-writer-type people. Yoga Camp (coordinating with Desert Horse Yoga). Riding Camp (working with Desert Horse Equestrian, which teaches everything from dressage to sports massage). Book and pay a minimum of 4 nights/5 days at $475 per person, get a night free. This includes food (menu developed to your specifications–it’s farmhouse fare, like the lodgings, but it’s comfortable and we do our best to make it taste excellent), lodging (we have two guest rooms with shared bath), unlimited pony-petting time, and one White Horse Herd Yoga session.

Either one sound alluring? Questions? Email me at capriole at that gmail thing. I can also do shorter mentoring stints, and a shorter Camp (no free night, yes free yoga session).

That’s the short-term, watching the hay pile dwindle with alarming speed, wheezing at the cost of replacing it thing.

Here’s what’s happening real soon now, within the next week or two:

Kickstarter! I’ve had an offer I can’t refuse, from a very good young artist, and if this funds, we’ve got cover art and interior art. The project is a rewrite of a novel that will be published in ebook form by Book View Cafe. I’m having a great time developing rewards and bonuses. Things like art in various forms, bags o’ swag, additional stories, and if it goes far enough over goal–a printed edition.

The next step is a video to introduce the project. I believe it will have ponies. In fact I think it had better have ponies. The book is not a horse book per se, but there is a horse in it. (Of course.) Also a cat. And something else that you will have to wait to see. When I have the video, I’ll be ready to go live. For now I’m still working out details. Should take me another week to two weeks to firm it all up and put in the application at Kickstarter, but from what I’m seeing, this is the kind of project they like to do.

The beauty of Kickstarter is that it rewards small donors as well as big ones. (Psst–put in $5 and you get the ebook when it’s published.) I like that part of it very much.

Right now I’m thinking a 45-day Kickstarter–it gives people who get paid monthly a chance to get on board. I’d be interested in alternative suggestions or advice.

Please feel free to forward and share all this. I thank you. The ponies thank you. Pooka will even let you pull his tongue, if you make it here for Camp.

Carrots?

30 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by Carrma in Horse Sense

Capria: Today is my human’s birthday.

Khepera: Oooh. That means carrots.

Capria: We get carrots on our birthdays. Not human birthdays.

Khepera: I still want carrots. Think she’ll give us carrots anyway?

Capria: I’m going to give her a ride, and Pooka’s not going to wreck the fence. RIGHT, Pooka?

Pooka: No. Well, maybe not. Depends on how excited I get about the girls. Right, ladies? -sticks tongue out-

Pandora, Gabriella, Tia: -swoon-

Capria: HEY! Everybody behave and treat the human nice today, okay?

Herd: Okay!